Secrecy and Lies

When I started FIU I came in with a tight nit [SP: knit] [tight-knit] friend support system that included my Boyfriend, my friends Sueann and Roshawn. These are people I’ve known practically my entire life all of whom I was very fond of and cared for a lot. [new action, new paragraph] Once I moved into my dorm and got settled in [comma] I didn’t see my friends as much and spoke to them a little less frequently. Being in a new environment and away from my friends forced me to meet new people. During a residential meeting, I had a chance to meet my neighbors Sabine and Shanett. We formed a bond gradually and from there seemly it was smooth sailing. [new time, new paragraph] When room selection rolled around for the following year [comma] we decided to make sure that we pulled one another in so that we could be roommates. When we moved in the following semester [comma] I roomed with Sabine and Shanett had a room to herself. At this point I’d introduced my old friends to my new friends in attempt to combine my college life with my home life. [new action, new paragraph] What seemed to be going great didn’t turn out quite the way I expected. I found myself stuck in the middle of a very sticky yet delicate situation. One of my college friends, who was also now my roommate, found herself catching feelings [slang] for my friend Roshawn who was at the time dating Sueann and had been for a few years. That was only the beginning of my worries. [new action, new paragraph] It began to escalate quickly from both parties. They became intimate and it persisted for a while before it was even brought to my attention. All of this was a shock to me, here were two friends I’d been knowing [I had known] nearly all my life who were dating and a new friend who I lived with, which put me in a even more awkward position. [new time, new paragraph] Over time [comma] questions began to arise about the nature of Sabine and Roshawn’s relationship from Sueann and that’s where the lies began to come in. Now I had to lie to keep a secret but it did not make me feel empowered but in fact the complete opposite. I felt enslaved, two people counting on me to keep their dirty secret [Were you keeping secrets to protect their reputations?] and then another person trusting my word, trusting me to be a true friend and tell her what was really going on behind doors. [new action, new paragraph] I told a friend about the situation only because she was around so much and began to question the relationship herself. This friend did try to penetrate the secret, not by going to them herself but by trying to explain to me why I should tell. She explained to me that a friend that I’d been knowing for years should come first but she failed to realize that I’d known Roshawn longer and that it was to [SP: too] big of a secret to tell and in the end I’d still be in the hot seat because I’d known about the situation and I didn’t say anything for so long and in addition to that, I’d be telling the secret I’d promise not to tell [run-on sentence of 77 words]. I understand how secrecy, lies and confidently go hand in hand. I told a lie to keep a secret and I wasn’t able to tell the secret not only because of confidentiality and because of the backlash and uproar it would cause.

I’ve Got a Secret Assignment -Daniela Ponce- Team 15


Secrets are kept, given out and exposed on a daily basis. One time, I had to keep a secret about an engagement for an entire month.

For starters, the secret was not mine to hear anyway. My uncle Ralph was planning to propose to his girlfriend, who’s now my aunt, Esmeralda. My entire family had planned to visit Nicaragua’s beaches for my grandfather’s 90th birthday.

Of course I had to stay behind because I had school. My uncle’s plan was to propose to his girlfriend on the family trip.

My uncle, who is my mother’s younger brother, had come to my mom for advice on what ring to buy and where. I’ll never forget sitting in my room and overhearing my uncle come to our house. He and my mom sat down on the couch and discussed different ring options and prices.

Being in my room, they had no idea I could hear their conversation from the living room. I was shocked and happy to discover the engagement that was going to happen and I wondered if anyone else knew.

After an hour of my uncle and my mom discussing rings, my uncle finally left. When he left, I immediately came outside of my room to talk to my mom.

“How’s Uncle Ralph? I said.

“Fine,” my mom responded.

I was shocked that my mom would not give me the details. I also figured she did not know that I had overheard them. This is when I admitted that I heard the entire thing. My mom was not mad because it wasn’t my fault, but she worried that I would tell another family member. The engagement was supposed to be a surprise for Esmeralda and the entire family so my mom made me promise not to tell anyone else.

Keeping the secret from my older sister Alex was rough because she and I always told each other everything. Alex was going on the family trip and I could not wait for her to tell me how it all happened since I would miss out because of school.

In the end, I kept my mom’s secret that was actually my uncle’s secret.

Knowing the secret of the engagement before everyone else actually made

Overall, keeping the secret benefitted everyone because Esmeralda did not find out beforehand and my entire family was surprised as they should have been. If I would have told my sister, there would have been the risk of her telling someone else and then the risk of that person telling another family member. Sometimes secrets can act like a game of telephone. It is best to keep them no matter how hard it may be WHERE’S THE REST?


I’ve got a secret Assignment


The last time I withheld a pretty big secret was probably my senior year in high school. My best friend was going to ask this very lovely lady to our high school prom. She was a very close friend of mine and her perception was that she would be going to this big dance alone. But throughout the prior weeks I kept dropping subtle hints and giving her some indications that she was not going alone. Even through a barrage of questions I was able to hide this secret for weeks. Many of her friends came to me asking who this secret prom date was and some even thought it was going to be me. But throughout it all I kept it to myself. I protected my best friend this whole time from people spoiling the surprise he planned out. An example of a subtle hint I would drop was when she started looking at other guys and asking me opinions about them and I would say something along the lines of “you don’t need to look at these other guys, someone perfect will ask you.” Her reaction would always be a very confused one and the look on her face screamed that I knew something that she didn’t.

Due to my credibility of being my friends closest and best friend he trusted me with this information to keep just between me and him. This triggered Ethos. I used my credibility and our long standing friendship from grade school for him to have enough trust in me. With the girl I used a little bit of logos but mostly pathos. I triggered an emotional appeal by telling her that the right guy will ask her and everything will work out for her. I used a little logos to make her a little more anxious and make the surprise even better by just counting down the days till the week of when she would be asked to prom.

When the day finally came I helped set up the whole setting for my best friend and I too was very anxious to break the news to her and the whole class. When she walked in and saw my friend with a bouquet of flowers and a plethora of balloons and a sign asking her to prom and I saw the huge smile on her face which went ear to ear, the satisfaction I felt was amazing. Just seeing the happiness both of my friends exuberated NOT A WORD.  gave me a feeling of inner peace that I was able to keep a secret for my friend for weeks to lead up to probably a great and memorable day for both of there adolescent lives. Seeing the great time we all had at prom made keeping this secret and lying to our peers worth it. Lying is not always bad especially in this case where you are able to make people happy. Even though to this day I feel a little bad for putting this poor girl through a grueling few weeks of intense anxiety.

Solitude – Daniela Ponce team 15


Being completely away from anything that had to do with news was like living in solitude. Not knowing what was going on in the world had me confused.

Weather forecast was one of the things we were not allowed to look at. I am always used to checking the weather every few days to plan out my apparel ahead of time. Not being able to check the weather made me guess what the day (and rest of the week) would look like based on what I saw outside. The first day I chose for this assignment was Monday, February 20th. The day was not too hot and there were a few clouds in the sky. Based on what I saw, I made the decision to just wear shorts. The next day, Tuesday, the sky was very gray and the weather felt cold. I would say it was about 67 degrees.

The next thing that affected me was not being able to keep up the latest presidential news. I normally do not watch television news, but do keep up with the latest news via twitter. Not using twitter was difficult because I never realized how accustomed I was to clicking the twitter app every half hour. Twitter has become the number one app for news for most college students because it is so easy to use. Information can be displayed as news through trending tweets and hashtags that people use. Not being able to use the app was annoying because: I was not able to see what others were doing, I was not able to keep myself updated with the latest news, and I was not able to tweet about what I was doing or how I was feeling. It was hard to not use twitter because I just had the strongest urge to check the app.

Not using twitter was like being lost in the world: Not knowing the latest news on what Trump said and not being able to retweet the latest/funniest memes.

Not being caught up with social media news for 48 hours was like being in complete solitude. I never realized how much communication information is given through these resources. I think we have put ourselves in this addictive predicament by abusing these resources. We overuse and over rely on sites like twitter and Facebook. Although the news there is accurate a lot of times, we have allowed ourselves to revolve our lives around this app. This obsession with tweeting and getting information from twitter has led us to become obsessed with the app. We no longer rely on just ourselves. Most technology is overused and has allowed us to create even solitude based on our bad habits when the technology is not around. I admit that I am too used to having my phone at hand 27/7 and rely too much on social media sites for news. Because the assignment did not allow for us to visit several sites/apps/shows, it made me restless. CAN YOU TIE THESE CONCLUSIONS TO DERESIWICZ?

Topsy Kretts



One of my best friends Dustin and I were out having more drinks than anyone should, when Dustin accidentally told me a secret.

“I have to tell you something,” he said. “I’ve been sleeping with Ashley.”

Ashley was the girlfriend of the best man at my wedding, Zack.

“Please don’t tell Zack,” he pleaded. “Now’s not the time.”

I hesitated to agree to his begs for confidentiality because I had no desire to learn this information; I was able to objectively consider the situation. If I agreed to keep this secret, I would be justifying the lies and deceit, committed to my prima facia duties. Out of loyalty to one of my best friends I decided to agree to keep his secret.

I contemplated the outcomes of their situation and how my unintentional becoming of an insider would effect the situation. I had no desire to learn that information and since my learning of the information was unintentional I did not feel I had to uphold my prima facia duties, until I agreed to confidentiality.

“What would I want to know if I were Zack?” I asked myself. “Would I want to be told by a friend, or my girlfriend?”

I reasoned with Dustin to come out and tell the truth, arguing he could not have a relationship with someone who is already in one.

“It doesn’t work that way,” I said. “If she loves you, why is she with someone else?”

“It’s complicated,” he replied.

What was complicated was keeping an innocent best friend of mine from knowing the truth about his cheating girlfriend. I wanted to tell Zack, but did not think I should be the one to tell him.

I threatened Dustin with outing this secret if he did not. I was committed to keeping my loyalty to Dustin; I also had the need to tell Zack out of loyalty to our long friendship.

“I’m going to tell Zack tomorrow,” I said. “You have until then to come clean or convince her to.”

“I understand,” he said.

“I would do the same for you buddy,” I said.

Dustin understood my emotions and the predicament in which he put me.
My prima facia duties to keep the secret I vowed to keep was not broken, because Dustin made Ashley come clean the next morning.

Dustin and Ashley dated for years afterward; It ended with Ashley secretly sleeping with his other best friend, Alan, for almost the entirety of their relationship.


Impossible Secrecy


I’m not good with secrets. Few times in my life I’ve found myself in a situation where I need to keep something quiet to save myself, but I have had to keep secrets to protect someone else. Secrecy is very hard to achieve, specially if you are someone like me, who likes to talk and make conversation like the world is an empty piece of paper and I’m the pen. 

A friend relied on me once to keep a secret. She had cheated on her boyfriend, a really good friend of mine, with another guy; and she was not planning on telling the truth. Somehow she thought that telling me was a good idea, and that she could trust me. I found myself facing an important dilemma: should I keep this secret? or should I reveal what I know, and hurt two friends in the process?

This situation did everything but empowered me. It gave me a load I wasn’t supposed to carry, stressing me out and making me the center of a problem that did not belonged to me in the first place. Others close to us suspected the situation, and they wanted answers. They were scared our dear friend was going to get hurt, so they wanted to know. The knew I had information, but I couldn’t reveal it; it was not my case to solve.

Constant pressure from others and the inside fear I felt of seeing my friend getting hurt made me speak. Not to him, but to her. I told her that if she didn’t tell him, then I would; and that I didn’t appreciate her placing this intense pressure on me, without need.

She caved. My secret was released, and I now longer needed to beat myself over this private fact. This new information wrecked chaos. A relationship was over. A very personal friendship took a huge turn, when my friend could not believe I didn’t tell him as soon as i knew. That was to be expected though, and he soon realized it was not my story to tell and forgave me. 

I am not a fan of secrecy. It involves lying, hiding and scamming. I like to think I was taught better. Truth is, sometimes in life I will face situations where keeping a secret will be my only choice, and I do expect to handle it better. For the time being I’ll remain like an open book; nothing to hide and a lot of stories to tell.




In October of this past year, I heard a loud and continuous knock on the door to my dorm room. It was around six o’clock in the morning; about thirty minutes before I had to wake up for beach volleyball workouts. I looked at my phone and realized that I had a missed call and three texts from my very close friend and teammate-we’ll call her Cindy. The texts read “I need to talk to you,” “Kenz,” and “I’m at your door.” I got up and opened the door to see her standing in “going out” clothes holding her heals in her hand. She was sobbing and her black mascara tears were staining her skin from her cheeks to her collarbone. Panicked, I told her to come in and demanded she tell me if she was okay or not. She said nothing “that bad” had happened. She told me “You can’t tell anyone.” Right away, I told her to be more quiet because my other three roommates who are also on the team would hear her. She said then, “I cheated on him, Kenzie.” Now, hearing this automatically makes a person think, “Oh, just some stupid girl drama.” However, Cindy’s boyfriend was extremely controlling-to the point where she had to purchase a new cellphone because he had hacked hers to see her location and text messages. The whole team hated him, but especially me. Cindy is my best friend. I’d tried probably over one hundred times to get her to leave him. I’d even spoken to her parents who were also concerned. This was no “stupid girl drama.”  Cindy told me everything that had happened. She thought her boyfriend was going to find out. She was drunk and had gone out with other friends that night. We sat in my bed delating texts, removing her phone battery and sim card, and restarting her phone. I told her that she needed to tell the police because of how impulsive her boyfriend had always been. She agreed that she would tell someone but made me promise that I wouldn’t. During the later hours of the day, my teammates/roommates continued to ask me what had happened. All of the, are older than I am, so I thought about asking their advice, as this could be a potentially dangerous situation for Cindy. I didn’t, though. I had a secret to keep. They heard her crying and knocking at our door in the morning. They made it seem like it was crucial that I tell them what had happened. The next day, a few of us were in Cindy’s room doing nothing. We heard a knock and I said “Look through the peephole.” Thinking it was one of her roommates, Cindy just swung open the door. There was the boyfriend. He seemed angry but also seemed like he wanted to talk. Cindy immediately started to push the door shut, which clearly ade him angry. I started to help push the door while another teammate called the cops. The boyfriend was climbing over us and punching the wall. The cops came very quickly and took him away. I know now that I could have easily prevented this by telling someone older than me or by telling my coach. None of it would have happened. To this day, I still feel regretful about the secret I promised to keep.