Assignment 4- I’ve Got A Secret

Jordan Burgs

IDS3309

February 26, 2018

Secrets are often a huge burden to bear, and sometimes, it can be very tempting to just tell the person you’re keeping the secret from.

A situation, in which I was forced to lie in order to keep a secret, was when one of my good friends, Juni, was about to propose to his girlfriend of 10 years, Victoria. The hardest part of keeping the secret, was that I was very good friends with both of them, and our group of friends was about to go on a big vacation together, on which he planned to propose. I was forced to dodge inquiries from Victoria about whether or not I thought Juni was going to “pop the question” on this trip. I said things like, “I wouldn’t get your hopes up, he just doesn’t seem ready” and “I don’t know, he just started a new job, I think he’ll wait until he’s more settled”. Nevertheless, she persisted in throwing in hopeful little questions here and there, trying to get me to spill the beans.

The vacation was going to be a four-day trip to Disney world, Victoria’s favorite place. Juni was running the Star Wars Half Marathon on Sunday, the last day of the trip, and he’d propose just after crossing the finish line. One thing that made keeping the secret only slightly easier, was that all of our friends were also in on the plan, and Victoria was the only one out of the loop. One friend nearly blew the whole surprise by insisting that Victoria made sure she had a fresh manicure right before the trip. Thankfully, Victoria was a bit of a girly-girl, so she didn’t think much of it.

I felt very nervous being responsible for such a huge secret that would greatly affect the lives of two of my great friends. In order to keep the secret, I avoided hanging out with Victoria and Juni whenever possible, as did the other people who were in on the secret. This made me feel as if I was being even more suspicious, but it was better than accidentally ruining the surprise altogether.

Finally the day of the race was upon us, and most of my friends that were in on the secret were also running, so they were off the hook as far as secret keeping went. I, on the other hand, was responsible for making sure Victoria was in the right place at the right time for when Juni crossed the finish line. On top of that, I was very excited for her, but I knew I had to keep my cool.

Finally, Juni crossed the finish line and spotted his future fiancé, dropped down on one knee, and asked the question we were all eagerly awaiting. And, the best part of it all was that Victoria said yes! The secret that we all had to keep for months was beyond worth it for that special moment, and fitting in with the Disney theme, they got married and will now live, happily ever after. This is well-organized, the thesis is good, and I am also a runner and appreciated the story. However, you did not provide much analysis or directly reference anything from class. I will give you credit for providing some class-related info, of course. 

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Secrecy assignment- Ernesto Leo team19

Thesis: Confidentiality is a major key in any type of relationship.

Sometimes we wonder if holding a secret from someone important to you is the best choice we have. We have a constant pressure on us to keep the secret for as long as we can until the truth comes out. Keeping a secret sometimes involves lying, especially upon being confronted of the situation. There are decisions we must make that can let the truth be free and we lose the other person’s confidence. And on the other hand, we can choose to not reveal the secret and should lie when being confronted.

There has been one time in which I had to mask the truth to have the trust of someone who meant a lot to me. Throughout high school I had this best friend who I shared all my stories with, vice versa. We could rely on each other for anything including our personal insights on certain things. At the time, he had been in a relationship with his girlfriend for nearly 3 years. One day he comes up to me and admits he was considering someone else who has gained his interest. He felt the need to tell me simply because he needed approval on whether he should carry on with his decision. He also mentioned that he was not looking to cause any infidelity towards the girlfriend he had at the time, but was contemplating on moving on. Now of course, I put myself in his girlfriend’s shoes and I admitted that it would be upsetting by the decision he was about to make.

We have all been faced with hard decisions in our lives that can sometimes cause us to act with morals. Would it have been okay for me to warn his girlfriend at the time, as she was devoting most her time and energy to him? He could have stayed quiet about the whole situation going on, but he knew he could trust me and there was no way I could have let him down. He might have not been making the right decision at the time, but for the sole reason he had that trust in me for something big happening in his life, I had no other choice but to keep that secret. I was confronted by her several times as to why he was acting differently, and I covered the truth by saying something else. As much as I wanted to warn her about it I could not have broken that trust I had with my best friend.

This story is one of many stories that have been presented in different ways to all of us. We have been given scenarios in which we had to make hard decisions for the benefit of keeping trust in a relationship. Confidentiality is important in any form of relationship and will ensure that the bond between you two gets stronger. Secrecy can be kept by keeping your mouth shut, or lying. Therefore, whichever of the two choices you end up choosing, you will have to live with the outcome. Well done although there could have been more analysis.

Withholding

 

Keeping secrets is lying with a prettier mask on.

 

 

Holding a secret is withholding information to protect a person’s image. I found myself doing that with one of my sister’s past boyfriends and my grandmother.  Being that my grandmother was 81 years old at the time, she was and is set in her ways. She was and is very conservative and anti-drug. My sister’s at-the-time boyfriend was a marijuana user, and if my grandmother found out she would have most likely given my sister a vulgar earful. So, in order to protect his image in my grandmother’s mind, and to spare my sister the lectures, my family and I withheld this information from my grandmother.

 

Although withholding is not lying, it can be lying in certain cases. When the news broke that my sister was in a relationship, among the plethora of questions was “Does he smoke?” in which my sister responded ‘Cigarettes’. My grandmother lectured about the dangers of smoking and her experience as a smoker. Here, my grandmother was only given part of the information she asked for. This withholding of information in my eyes, is dishonesty and can be viewed as lying. By saying ‘cigarettes’ and only making it known that that is what he smokes, it gives the impression that he doesn’t smoke anything else. When in fact, he could smoke a number of other drugs or inhalants.

 

It is in this way that lying and secrecy are related, keeping this secret of his marijuana use also in turn lied about his marijuana use. In a way, this empowered myself and those withholding the information over my sister and her boyfriend. To ensure that my sister didn’t get questioned or lectured about her decisions, and that her boyfriend didn’t get treated differently gave us all leverage. good analysis

 

At any time, I could have sent a massive stress storm my sister’s way by just telling my grandmother of his marijuana use. However, I am not a malicious person so the thought never crossed my mind and none of the family members cared to “Spill the beans”. None of the people involved cared much about the leverage they had over my sister or her boyfriend. Often times, lies are used to cover up secrets, this time keeping a secret resulted in a lie.

 

This secret could have led to more lies being told in the future. More questions could have risen up of his smoking or drug use. The family took on this responsibility of lying and keeping up a lie/secret for our loved one and her significant other.

 

The secret was kept to make my sister happy, to let her be with a man who was good to her but had one flaw. Although lying and withholding information is unvirtuous, we felt that being deceitful towards my grandmother was worth my sister’s happiness. At her age it isn’t worth the stress and with the climate of young people’s relationships, the secret didn’t need to be kept for long. well structured with application of class concepts a good job

Secrecy Assignment

Thesis: What you do not know cannot hurt you.

Lies, secrecy, and keeping something under confidentiality is something that many if not all have partaken in. Sometimes understanding the severity of each and what is justifiable or might not be, can be hard to determine. Are they alike? Is there a linkage between lies, secrecy, and confidentiality? And if so, do they go hand in hand? Lies are used in guarding secrets as much as they are used to tear them down. Usually, when a person is trying to get down to the truth, they will lie about knowing what the truth is. Sometimes, they will go on as if they do not know what the truth is, to try to convince the person that they are completely out of the loop when in reality, they are wired in. Does it make it justifiable to guard someone’s secrets to protect their privacy even if it might hurt another party?

A few years ago, one of my friends asked me to guard some information. She had done something she was not necessarily proud of, so she asked me to omit some information if I were to be asked. Her boyfriend who was also a friend of mine had started to suspect about the type of friendship she had with the new guy at work. When I would get asked, I would try to avoid the conversation without bringing any attention to it by making him feel as if he suspecting of anything was just completely ridiculous. Unfortunately, as time progressed, what might have seemed as ridiculous once, turned into something very valid. Later on, my friend decided to tell me all the details of what was actually happening between her and the new guy at work.

The idea of being informed is gratifying in the sense that you are in the loop and you feel this sensation of not being oblivious to what is happening around you. But at the same time, that feeling of knowledge and superiority for knowing what others do not know can also come with a huge downfall. This is especially when you are requested to keep something a secret. Because no longer is it just someone’s burden to carry but also yours. Slowly but surely, you find yourself tangled in a web of lies needed to maintain the secret as private and confidential. Secrecy, as explained in the lecture, nurtures the growth of more lies. Secrets are beneficial to the one who is sharing but to the one that bares them, they are loaded with guilt and a weight that outweighs the desire to be informed. Sooner or later, the lies catch up to you and the truth is revealed. If you take, for example, the Sony incident, where the studio’s executive chief and staff decided to keep the news of the breach under wraps, to maintain privacy of what really happened ended up with a plan that completely backfired on them. Their attempt to keep private all the information that was getting threatened to be leaked, placed the superiors to want to keep their privacy by keeping the message of the Interview movie out of the public eye, which lead them to look like they were hiding something, which shows them being stuck in a web of lies to protect their secrets. Very strong analysis, well organized and well told. Some structural/grammatical issues in sentences.

 

I’ve got a secret

Lying isn’t something I like to do, but it is something we all do whether it is to protect ourselves or others, us humans always fall into the bad habit of lying. Having to lie to protect your friend is one of the toughest things I’ve had to do. I had seen my good friend’s boyfriend having lunch with another woman, at first my thinking was that they were just friends…until his hand braced hers and I knew this lunch date was more than just a date. This had put me in a really tough position because my friend’s boyfriend was also a dear friend of mine so, having to pick sides made me really reflect which friendship I valued more and obviously it was my closer friend’s friendship. Days had gone by and I didn’t say a word to both of them, I was trying to avoid them in any way possible because I was not good at lying and I wasn’t ready to put myself in such a compromising position. At first, keeping this secret was better than stirring the pot. My lie was protecting a secrecy because I didn’t want to get in the middle of the situation, but this was an act of selfishness, I protected myself before my friend’s heart and that’s when I knew something was wrong. This lie was killing me, I felt like I was going to explode If I didn’t do something. Swearing to this secrecy empowered me to change and actually make a difference. It was a time for me to open up instead of letting my friend suffer with a false relationship. Knowing that I might lose a friend in the process was something I had to be prepared for, we don’t know how people react to these situations. In a way this secrecy was a protection of my self-esteem. I kept this secret because I was scared to tell my friend because I didn’t know how she would react. At the end of the day lying is never a good idea, as much as I tried to avoid wrapping myself in this situation the longer I kept the secret the worse it was. Telling my friend was difficult and her knowing I lied to her for some time really affected our friendship, though at the end of the day she was grateful I told her the truth of what I saw and was sworn to keep a secret. Confidentiality is important but if it can harm someone else then there should be an understanding that the secret spilled to protect the people we love most. Lying to others causes a bigger mess than the situation might be, even if you’re the one asking the person to swear in secrecy we should recognize the position we are putting that person in. Secrets are always told, I haven’t met a person who has kept a secret 100% and didn’t comment or mention something in regard to the secret. If we don’t want a secret to be told, don’t tell anyone and keep it to yourself.

48 hour news blackout

thesis? Having gone through a 48-hour period without knowing what was going on was honestly an unexplainable, anxious feeling. Whenever I was around my friends and family I would have to explain to them the purpose of this assignment because they would continuously want to talk about the world, politics, sports, and even entertainment news. Before approaching this assignment, I thought it would be an easy assignment because I never realized how connected I am to the world. Since I don’t normally flip the channels on television to search for the news I figured I would not struggle performing this assignment. However, to my disbelief, I noticed how social media apps such as Instagram, are loaded with current events.

I began this blackout on Monday, which is the start of my school week. At the start of my first class my professor would start talking about current events. No matter where I went, I couldn’t help but notice different ways of news being transmitted to the public, such as people holding up signs, electronic billboards, people talking in public, social media. I am a kind of person who doesn’t watch the news on television so I couldn’t believe how many other outlets can be used for news to be transmitted. In my generation, we can all agree that we do not watch the news on television. So, having social media we are really keeping ourselves updated with the world without even realizing it. good points

Throughout the blackout, I felt somewhat disconnected to the world and I felt anxious. I felt lost in a sense that I couldn’t see past my line of sight, and I could only sense what was around me. I was not able to enjoy the use of social media because it was loaded with information and news. My free time was very limited and did not consist of any form of technology. This alone time made me ponder on how technology really plays a big role in this world and it is what really connects us to the entire world. Without technology, we would not be able to know what is going on in other parts of the world nor can we prepare for anything coming our way, such as natural disasters or criminal activity. In other words, unless you are eye witness, you will never know what happened somewhere else.

The news is a necessary intrusion of our solitude for many reasons. The news keeps us updated in a world where the unexpected can happen. We need to be aware of any social movements or laws that are taking place, as well as being informed in other areas such as news, sports and politics. In Deseresiewicz’s essay, he explains how our young generation has never actually been in solitude because we are always connected using technology. He also clarifies that being alone and disconnected from the world can be important to our well-being as we can benefit socially, physically, and spiritually. We can conclude that solitude can be achieved solely by distancing ourselves from technology. Good job. I did not see a thesis at the top, and your analysis could have gone a bit further. You addressed the points of the assignment and drew some conclusions about your connection to news through various media.

48 hour blackout

Josie Garcia

thesis? 48 hours of complete blackout towards all aspect of news is not something us students would expect to happen in this digital age. This blackout made me realize how dependent I actually am with the media and all the current events. As a journalism student and someone who is always reading all news source for classes and for enjoyment I found it very difficult for me the first couple of hours. This week a lot has happened in the news regarding the school shooting that recently just occurred, the fact that I couldn’t watch or read on what was happening made me feel out of the loop. We are so dependent on news media to find out what is happening around us. During the time of the blackout I turned to more social activities and distractions, so I wouldn’t fall into the habit of clicking through my news section on my iPhone. Slowly I felt relieved and actually less anxious, since I had the opportunity to disconnect I got more in touch with myself and had more time to do homework than I usually would. The News is a source of information we all need, it is hard to believe that one time in this world news was none existing and it would take days to hear about something major occurring in the country. Not being allowed to open the weather app was actually a huge challenge! I needed to look out the window and see how the weather was or even go out and test it out myself. This assignment did bring awareness on how we take the news for granted, we don’t realize how accustomed we are to it until it’s taken away. good insight In the article “The End of Solitude” highlighted points of how the digital information has eliminated all traces of solitude, with this assignment I realized that some of those highlighted points are correct. The digital information has eliminated some hope of being alone. Although I don’t think that I consider myself afraid of being alone I do depend on the media a lot more than I thought. This blackout reminded me of Hurricane Irma when we didn’t have any electricity and our cellphone service was barley working. In those times we had to actually play board games with family or read a book with a flashlight. Those moments made us closer to the things that are most important, but it was also scary not having any source of news during the terrible storm. This black out made me realize how important the news really is in our daily lives. Though a bit of disconnection with the world is no harm either, I felt out of the loop in certain moments, yet my anxiety level was much lower. I got to understand that solitude is not always a bad thing. I will be seeing myself having a news cleanse every so often just to get back in touch with myself and not depend so much on the media.