Assignment 6: Reina Wright

My situation I remember where I felt compelled to lie I was protecting my coworker. I was working in a spa back home in Orlando as the front desk receptionist. I was in control of phone calls, booking appointments, checking in and out guests and more. I was very close to many of my co-workers, it was a great atmosphere to work in. I worked there for 2 years.

One co-worker in particular I was really close to out of the rest of them; we clicked and became friends. He would always do my hair for free, whether it was a cut, color or style. I was so grateful for him because these services are expensive and he was kind enough not to charge me. There was a few times he had some family members scheduled on the books and he would tell me to delete the appointment from the books after so they wouldn’t have to pay. Obviously, this was wrong but I felt compelled to do it because it was for his family and he told me to. I felt like I didn’t have a choice in the moment.My manager would ask me what happened to that appointment and I would have to tell her they never showed up.

In this situation, I felt compelled to lie for my co-worker because he was a good friend that would also help me out and he didn’t have bad intentions. I wanted to protect him from getting in trouble or possibly getting fired because I promised him confidentiality. The situation empowered me because I had the authority to change the scheduled appointments on the books, I was the one that had to cover for him and lie as to why the appointment wasn’t there anymore. From what I witnessed most of the other co-workers knew his family members would come in occasionally and they didn’t mind. Because whether or not his family members paid or not it didn’t affect their money, it affected my co-worker’s.Therefore there wasn’t anyone that tried to penetrate the secret.

This situation made me feel discomfort for many reasons, it was out of my character and tested my integrity. I was caught in the middle of doing what’s right or protecting my friend. GOOD — MENTION BLEVENS. The right thing would of been to say sorry I can’t do that because deleting an appointment that actually did show up would get me in trouble not him. Also, when I had the chance to tell the truth to my manager I should’ve done that, so I wouldn’t be put in that type of situation anymore.Looking back on this situation I wouldn’t do that again because at the end of the day that makes me look bad and it was out of my character.

Whatever You Hide, Eventually Comes to Light

During the course of high school, new relationships begin to form. One begins to experience and witness new things. Drama is practically inevitable. My senior year of high school I began dating a boy that I thought at the time would be my prince charming. I was very naïve and very innocent, not to mention young. I looked for the best in others regardless of what I saw. I had witnessed him cheat on every single girl he had dated up until me. Yet somehow I still thought he would treat me differently. During the course of our brief relationship I befriended his best friend, lets call him Mike. We got along great and Mike became someone I could always count on. He had just broken up with his girlfriend of 4 years because of her promiscuous ways with other guys. A few weeks after their break up, one of my friends called me in the middle of the night to tell me that my boyfriend at the time had hooked up with Mike’s girlfriend.

At the time I wanted to confront my boyfriend and tell Mike what I had just found out. I didn’t want to hurt Mike and I had promised not to tell anyone what I had just found out. I didn’t want him to feel the way I felt. I wanted to spare his feelings of knowing that his best friend could actually do that to him. I swore not to tell anyone or even confront my boyfriend about the hook up. The only thing I did was break up with my boyfriend and try to steer Mike away from that girl and my ex. I saw how hurt he was. I saw how much he cared about her. Every time I saw him I wanted to blurt out what those two had done to us but saw it best for everyone to keep it hidden. Secrecy can eat at you. I felt like I was exploding. Everyone around me wanted to find out what had happened and who cheated with who. The rumors got so wild that they even claimed that Mike and I had something behind the other twos backs.

Drama is everything in high school OH YES. and even people that you don’t know are trying to get into your business. My friend that had told me about the cheating couldn’t keep the secret she was trusted with and passed it on to me. Now I was trusted with that secret. Did I feel empowered? Now that I look back at it yes. I controlled the situation in a way that others wouldn’t find out, and my friend wouldn’t be even more hurt. Lies, secrecy and confidentiality can empower those that seek to choose those paths.  GOOD. NOW MENTION BLEVENS. However so much of it can push the person to eventually explode. Mikes ex eventually confessed and so did mine. One way or another the truth comes out.

I’ve Got a Secret

A good friend of mine struggled with depression throughout high school, but was usually able to control it and carry on with her day. Fast forward to senior year and she could not take the pressure and would come to school less and less. It came to the point where if she came twice in a week that would be a lot. The reason she would not come to school was because her depression had gotten significantly worse, but more so that she thought people wouldn’t understand her or what she was going through and would ridicule her or say she is exaggerating. This ties in with the video, where it states that privacy is important because it protects against scorn/ridicule. By staying home, she kept herself at a distance from people who might potentially mock her for her depression.

When she confided in me that she was chronically depressed and was going to be voluntarily hospitalized, she told me to not tell anyone because she felt embarrassed. Seeing that it is not my place to be telling people her business, I agreed to keep her secret. But as the days went on, more friends, students and even teachers began to wonder where she was and of course they would come to me. Unable to disclose her whereabouts, I would have to lie, but as the days went on there were only so many lies I could tell until people started to catch on and now were upset at me for not telling them the real reason she wasn’t at school.

As it said in the video, the outsider’s (students) meaning for knowing was based on curiosity and their desire to know. By keeping her secret my reputation was being put in jeopardy. However, I couldn’t break my promise to her because I knew under her circumstances it would make things worse for her health and she wouldn’t trust me. I was not empowered whatsoever with this secret and it came to a point where I felt it was a burden and the only way she was empowered was because she didn’t have to face the questioning that I did. I was either stuck with her secret or stuck with everyone else thinking I was a liar because of her secret.

The video discussed bonds that linked lying and secrecy, and in my case lies were used to guard my friend’s secret. I never told anyone where she was and when she returned to school, she let everyone know what was going on. People were understanding as to why I was lying and I was able to not only keep her secret but her trust; I displayed loyalty to my friend. However, now I know that getting involved in secrecy can lead to unwanted stress.

 

I SEE NO MENTION OF BLEVENS’ LECTURE.

Secrecy

Mysteries control you. The problem is not the secret itself but what you must do to keep information out of sight. It is the axiomatic skeleton WELL PUT and all are held accountable to stay alert to those who get too near the closet door. My family, although large and loving, protects privacy. Two years ago, my grandmother died from pancreatic cancer – abrupt but prepared for. I received news through a telephone call from my uncle who lived with her in Texas, my mother, settling for a flight to Dallas to visit her mother before she passed, was unaware. I panicked and reached to my father to aid in telling the news. Grief-stricken for his in-law, he could not pitch me the burden of telling my mother, but the one of keeping it from her.

Household secrets are passed down unbeknown to others. To ease her traveling, we all actively colluded to hide the information. My care for her terror come to life left it in my best interests to tell her myself, except I had a power I did not care for. With this secret, I had choice but I was enforcing the secrecy upon myself. Possibly by admitting the reality of what is, I could deflate its authority. I left work with a heavy heart and smiled at my mom in the driveway with her luggage, shuffling with worry. Forty-five minutes to the airport, I appreciated her effort in forgetting the reality of the trip. She joked and sang and hid her own secret, her trepidation of the day she’d been dreading too long to confess. I could not by any struggle rationalize the secret’s dominance. All I sought was to end the denial, keep her from praying for my grandmother’s strength while funeral plans were already in motion. I wanted to open the closet door, to get free from the secret I knew for less than the whole morning.

My reassurance provided to my mother was a lie, casted upon the lie of saying how abuelà survived worse and she’ll live another 72 years. Dishonesties covers confidences. As she was boarding, the only way I could avoid destruction was carefully choosing its reveal. I thought of the 12 siblings she would see at the airport soon, picking her up from the news, being a better support system that my words could provide before she flew 10,000 feet above alone. I hugged her saying goodbye, knowing the exposure of the secret would make her different to be around when she returned. The pain was excruciating. I drove back solitary in my car, grieving for the first time and hearing the taunting knock of the skeleton. I found relief in telling my brother when I got home and having my father encourage that I did the right thing. A small release of the undisclosed and I felt a ton less off my shoulders. The liability was passed to those who told my mother and its reveal opened the doors and took away command. Grief awaited but could surpass time and without the power to linger, we were pardoned by its bareness.

I SEE NO MENTION OF BLEVENS’ LECTURE.

Secrets

We decided to keep it a secret.

Cari and I worked together, so when we finally decided to become a couple, we made a promise to keep our relationship a secret from everyone else. We wanted to keep our relationship private as to not have anybody intruding. Keeping a secret such as a relationship was exhilarating since we had to act to act differently at work than how we usually are outside of work. And we definitely wanted to keep it a secret from the store manager because we didn’t want for the store manager to change the schedules and keep us away from each other.

Every time I would come into work I’d say hi to her with a wave and a smile. This differs from when we would see each other outside of work our interactions were more intimate. Keeping the secret had its drawbacks. If a customer came in and started flirting with Cari, I had to keep my cool. And whenever the guys at work talked about their girlfriends or people they were seeing, I wouldn’t say too much in fear of being caught. I just loved the fact that only her and I knew about the relationship it was our secret and it made it feel special. No one else was involved or bothered us with questions. This went on for some time, whenever I would get asked how my weekend went I’d come up with an excuse I had already prepared.

There were times where the guys at work would say how attractive she is and I would be there being smug about the whole situation knowing she was my girlfriend. That feeling of being a part of a secret, made me feel important.

We had to uphold its secrecy, especially when we wanted to go on breaks together. Whenever my shift would end her break started so we usually went to go eat together. One time the manager wasn’t letting her leave yet so she kept insisting as to not make me wait too long. Once she was finally let go she came back a few minutes late due to us not being aware of the time. He asked her where she was, and she lied saying the line was too long. She had to lie to not get any of us in trouble.

We did have those who were trying to solve the secret that we were together. Some would point blank ask her or me if we were together. Others would ask through social media if what we posted online sparked something in their minds. We wanted to keep this secret between us as long as possible. It was our own, and nobody could be a part of in any way.

In the end, we ended up telling our coworkers about our relationship, but it turns out everyone had known all along. We weren’t the best at keeping secrets.

I SEE NO MENTION OF BLEVENS’ LECTURE.

 

I’ve Got a Secret Blog

As a young boy, secrecy and lying has been a friend of mine, always. It wasn’t to be a manipulating or vindictive person, but to hide something that’s part of me. Coming out as gay is never easy for anyone who happens to identify themselves as gay, especially if you’re raised in a religious household, like me. Raised in a religious Christian family, I was taught that homosexuality is a sin and a “abomination to God.” That specific reason is why I kept lying and lying to every person in my life about my homosexuality. I was scared I was going to “burn in hell” for all eternity or I’ll be judge due to society having a close-mind on gay marriage. I was convincing myself every day that I wasn’t a homosexual, but a heterosexual.

After years of compelling to lie about being gay, I finally I had the courage to admit to myself first that, in fact, I am a gay man to my mother. That specific day was when I became free. “You never have to hide yourself. Don’t ever be ashamed of the person that you are, and I will always love you no matter what,” my mother said. I was really pleased I came out to my mother. Hearing those words were just a moment where I became happy for the first time. Today, I am a man whose achieving great thing and is confident more than ever; something that I never had within myself. I was an empowering moment for me and for my mother. My relationship with my mother has never been better. We have more trust with each other and better communication. This made me realize that my lie of being gay and trying to protect the person that I am was just a time wasted matter.

As much as my mother is supporting me, I was questioning my grandmother’s support. My grandmother knew about my homosexuality, but didn’t say her grandson was gay. She didn’t want to be embarrassed. I understood her perspective. Although she loves and cares for me, it bothers me with anger that she doesn’t proudly states that she has a gay grandson. I find it hypercritical, honestly. Ever since my I came out to my rest of my family, everyone’s been distance, especially my grandmother. Our relationship has downgraded. It’s never the same how it used to be. It’s like my grandmother wasn’t penetrating the truth and couldn’t face reality.

Again, till this day I feel so confident about myself. I empowered something that’s difficult to do (if anyone happened to be in my shoes). Even though I don’t have the whole family support, I have my mothers. I’m grateful for that. Nobody is in your family is going to feel comfortable knowing that I’m gay, and that’s OK. I have the strength and the confidence I need not be ashamed or embarrassed of what others think about me. I’m a happy, gay man whose doing amazing things in life, and that’s important to feel and think about yourself.

A LOVELY POST, BUT YOU DIDN’T MENTION BLEVENS OR HIS IDEAS AT ALL.

The End of Solitude: Reina Wright

Partaking in solitude was a lot harder than I expected. It made me realize how much I rely on social media, apps, radio and TV. Within minutes I had the urge to check my social media as a second nature. I noticed I also rely on my phone when I feel like I’m in an awkward situation. Usually, when I’m in the the elevator and it’s awkward silence I get on my phone and scroll through social media. This time I had to embrace the awkwardness with other people and fight the urge to grab my phone. I don’t like the feeling of being alone, even when I need to go do homework I ask my friends if they want to come. Some solitude is beneficial and good for self growth, but in small portions and not being completely cut off.

I also found myself to be bored, like what I am suppose to do with myself now. I rely on my phone as entertainment to see what’s happening and staying connected.I was having withdrawals in the first hours of this experiment. I have done a social media detox before for myself because I saw that it was consuming most of my time. However, I had TV, radio and apps as other outlets. Being completely cut off from the world was almost depressing. It also gave me a sense of anger that I live in the 21st century and don’t need solitude, solitude is for old people and older generations.

In the article WHOSE ARTICLE? it states “The two emotions, loneliness and boredom, are closely allied.”This was the exact feeling I had loneliness and boredom, which tie in together. With these negative emotions solitude wasn’t something positive, it was like a punishment. I wasn’t happy, it affected my mood and emotions. With the time of solitude I found myself overthinking and getting deep into my thoughts and to me it was unhealthy. I didn’t like the feeling of solitude it was unpleasant and made me anxious. RUN-ON SENTENCE.

This made me realize how important it is to stay connected to world. The generation we live in today, too much solitude to me is unhealthy. It is the best thing to stay up to date, especially in today’s society. Maybe back in the old days, it was necessary and part of good health to part take in solitude. But in the world we live in today, teens can die from depression, people need to stay updated with family members in other countries/states, what’s safe and what’s not safe. Without daily news you would be late to work, your family can be banned from the US, knowledge of crimes in your neighborhood and the list goes on. In my analyzation NOT A WORD, portions of solitude can be beneficial for self growth, but also solitude can make us feel uncomfortable and in the dark about information.REINA, THIS IS A GOOD THESIS. PASTE AND MOVE TO THE TOP.