I’ve got a secret

A secret that I had to keep from a certain friend to not hurt her feelings was that our best friend was going through a hard time in her life and she did not want anyone to know. I made sure that know one would think she was having a bad day due to me making sure she was always happy and laughing. I am a very positive person so to make sure my friend was not having a bad time in her life due to a family member that had just passed away I made sure to always be by her side. I am a person that is good to have around for advice and to listen to your problems. I tried to always make the bright side of everything because did not want her to be more down or depressed then she already was.

A death in a family is very hard and at first it was difficult to not tell any of my other friends why I was hanging out with her so much but towards the end people stopped worrying. She became very distant with a few of her close friends so I tried to take her out and help her not forget but lighten the blow of the death. Throughout the whole secret I was fine because even though I could not tell anyone about it, I was able to make my friend happy and for her to know that she can always trust me. The only people I told because they were just really worried at first were my parents and boyfriend at the time.

I know secrets are not the best thing to have but in some cases it is important to not hurt someone or exploit to everyone something that a certain person does not want people to know. I have learned that people are pretty nosey because many people were asking why is she hanging out with you a lot and not with other people. People cope with death in other ways and her way was to keep it a secret and just confide in me about the situation. Our relationship got closer because before this tragic event happened we had grown apart a bit due to me playing very involved in school and sports while she got involved in becoming a singer/cheerleader. HOW DOES BLEVENS ADDRESS THIS POINT ?Keeping secrets for family members and friends is something I am very good at because I know what to or not to say when I am around people.

YOU DIDN’T MENTION BLEVENS AT ALL.

Secrecy

Lying is probably one of the worst actions humans can do to one another. From a young age a motto repeated to me, after a news story broke of a politician caught in a scandal, or some secret was exposed, was “liars are the scum of Earth, like pedophiles”. To a young girl there was no boogie man like a pedophile, no ghost or monster hiding under the bed could compare. Being on the same level of horrifying and likened to the scum of earth was neither empowering nor enjoyable. Rather it was sobering to see how easily people believed in your words; it was amazing to see someone simple trust what was said and take truth for granted.

After deflecting for someone to help keep their affair confidential, the person in question repeatedly had affairs with other people. To what extent, I do not know and frankly I do not care to know. The less I know the less guilt I feel when I see their significant other. Aside from asking once in passing about a certain night their significant other, never tried to penetrate the secrete. Till this day, I’m still unsure if they know about the affairs. The guilt I feel towards the significant other is nothing compared to what compels me to deflect and keep the person in question’s affairs confidential; the relationship between them and I, compel me to refrain from telling the truth. HOW IS THE BLEVENS LECTURE RELEVANT? The secret affairs empower them and I can see it in their confidence after every rendezvous, the guilt and disgust of how easy it is gives me mixed feelings. On one hand, I’m amazed by how the truth can be taken for granted, on the other I’m disgusted by my own motives to keep their affair confidential.

I know that if the affairs were ever discovered, I would be blamed almost as much as the person in question. To the significant other I am almost a guilty as them. But this makes me question their hypothetical anger. Am I to blame as much as the person in question? Even when I’m compelled to keep their secret due to the nature of their relationship with me. Am I guilty for doing what is right between them and I?

YOU DIDN’T MENTION BLEVENS AT ALL.

I’ve got a secret

There are always moments in your life where you try to protect the people you love. I found myself in an uncomfortable situation where I had to lie to my best friend Katy. I am very close to Katy’s family; I’d go over for Sunday brunch and would sometimes take care of their pets while they were on vacation. I was their adoptive daughter they never had.

One day I was invited to go out on the boat with my brother and his friends. It was a beautiful sunny Saturday out on the sandbar and throughout the day more and more boats anchored filling up any available space. As I was walking to go meet up with friends, I noticed that Katy’s boat was at the sandbar, I found it strange that she didn’t mention to me that she was going out on the boat that day. As I got closer to the boat I noticed that it was her dad and some other lady I had never seen before. I couldn’t help but stare and watch as my friend’s dad who is still married groping and kissing this random women.

I was stuck between a rock and a hard place; this went further than just my friendship with Katy because before I was able to get back to my boat, Katy’s father spotted me in the water. We made eye contact; I got nervous and just turned around and went back to my boat. I got home later than night and was uncomfortable, I didn’t know if telling Katy what I saw was the best things to do. She called me the next day and asked me how my boat day went, my heart sank into my stomach and I got all frazzled. I didn’t want to lie to my best friend but I also didn’t want to break up their family. I know what I saw and Katy’s dad knows it too. Katy’s father never came up to me and asked me to keep this a secret but I knew that saying anything would of just created a larger issue.

Everyone has the right to privacy but if you want to keep something secret then you shouldn’t display it in public. I felt as though Katy’s father had the upper hand in this situation, it was as if he knew I wasn’t going to say anything to jeopardize my friendship with his daughter. I felt a large sense of guilt for a long time knowing that I saw my best friends dad with another women. I found it hard to go over her house and have her mother cook for me so I tried my best to say clear of Katy’s home. I’ll never forget the day when Katy told me her parents where getting a divorce. I felt a weird sense of relief about what had known for so long. HOW DOES BLEVENS ADDRESS THIS IDEA? I was lying to a friend to protect our friendship but at the same time I was covering up for her father indiscretions. I couldn’t help but smile internally knowing that this situation had resolved itself and without any assistance from myself. Keeping this situation a secret was going to benefit all parties involved and prevent me from loosing a friend. I have never mentioned anything to Katy and it has been over 7 years now. Holding on to this secret has been one of the hardest things I have ever had to do but I love my friend enough to endure it. YES, BUT HOW DOES THIS BLEVENS’ LECTURE SUPPORT OR REFUTE THIS CONCLUSION? YOU’VE SUBMITTED A DIARY ENTRY. 

I’ve Got a Secret

Natalia Pasquariello

5151175

Team 12

Thinking about past events and what I have gone through with family and friends, a couple of situations come to mind when it comes to secrecy. It makes you think to yourself, why did you put yourself in a situation where lying was needed? or why was creating a secret necessary in the first place? Analyzing the situation really puts things into perspective because you may have created more issues by lying than what would have happened if you were open about what was going on in the first place.

For example, when I was about 18 years old I was going through some family problems where lying to protect my father started to become our second nature. It wasn’t because I promised him I would keep the things going on at home confidential, but more so that I just didn’t want the world to perceive him as anything less than perfect. Not to blame anyone but society has created a particular image that everyone wants to be or feels the need to be like , so when something is a little off the spectrum, we find the need to create a false image for the outside looking in.

But wrapping your life in a lie and creating so many secrets, makes you forget what the actual truth is and this may be where information gets crossed or told incorrectly and your credibility is questioned. IS THIS A CLASS CONCEPT? Which is where insecurity comes in because you begin to over think all of your surroundings and who believes or who is trying to find out the truth of your lies. Being that you have this big weight on your shoulders can take toll on your mental and physical health, which can affect you greatly in so many different aspects.

This leads to back to the bigger issue of my hidden family secret from the beginning, that is still not being solved and just becoming larger as I tried to pretend everything is okay and as I’m smiling through it all, hoping no one can see the pain in my eyes. I understand the idea of confidentiality and the fact of people not needing to know your personal business, just because things can either blow up in your face or actually work out of the better. But something I’m trying to analyze is when the world allowed society to create such an image for household families that secrecy and lying became everyone’s second nature.

This is where the line needs to be drawn between the truth and a lie. How I told my friends that dad was going away for vacation for a couple of days instead of saying he moved out, was my way of giving them enough information to explain his absence. But where parts get messy within situations and information like this, is when information gets twisted or interpreted incorrectly and that is when keeping stories and problems told to a minimum or the complete truth is safer than to allow the story to be left up in the air.

Secrecy

In high school, my parents were overprotective. They always told me that on the weekends, I had to be home by 11pm. Once they found out that I’ve been sneaking out of the house late at night, they turned on the location service option on my phone to locate my every move. However, that didn’t stop me. I would leave my phone at my friend’s house and tell my mom that I was spending the night there, but instead, I would go to different parties and come back when my parents were waking up at the crack of dawn. I somehow never managed to get caught.

Going out late at night allowed me to be with my group of friends. None of my friends had an early curfew like me. Although I brought this up several times to my parents, it didn’t matter. They only cared about me and my safety. Having strict parents taught me how keep a secret, and how to stay quiet about something that could ruin my social life. Even as I got older, I was still living under my parent’s rules because I was still living under their roof.

I was invincible. My parents had no idea what I was doing. I felt empowered knowing that I was in control of my actions, and that my parents had no idea. I never felt bad about going behind their backs, but instead, I felt independent, knowing that I was making my own choices for once. If my mom called my friend’s house, my friend would tell her that I’m asleep and can’t talk, or that I was in the bathroom. She would make up any excuse to avoid having me talk on the phone. I never ran into a situation where I feared that my friend would one day confess the lie to my parent’s [SPELLING]. She has never let me down before, so I knew she wouldn’t say a word HOW DOES BLEVENS ADDRESS THIS POINT?

I felt compelled to lie because my parents were so strict. I didn’t grow up as independent as others, and I felt like life was practically handed to me. My parents would do everything for me, like remind me to do my homework and drive me everywhere when I was old enough for a drivers license. I understand now what they were trying to get me to understand in high school, but I still see it as being an extremely strict method of parenting. My parents still never found out to this day, even though I no longer live with them. It’s been 4 years, and my past is still a secret to them.

YOU DIDN’T MENTION BLEVENS AT ALL.

48 hr Solitude

Natalia Pasquariello

5151175

Team 12

The idea of isolation is easily one of my biggest fears. Being alone, not knowing what is going on, not being able to communicate is a huge challenge for me. Beginning this assignment I wanted to set goals for myself such as starting a new book and catching up on schoolwork. As anxiety as I am to put myself in this partial solitude, I am actually excited to have two days of relaxation and not have to worry what is going on in the world.

Starting the partial solitude on Monday was relatively easily being that I’m pretty much occupied throughout my whole day, with class and assignments, that it felt great not having to worry about checking any social media between classes and just getting focused on my class work. But it became a little more difficult once I got home and went to grab my phone out of pure habit and realizing I can’t do really do anything with it!

I would say that’s when the anxiety set in a little more, anxious to know what is going on instagram or the world in general. It is interesting to see how useless our phone really are without going online and being able to update yourself with the news. But with anxiety comes the calm down and I decided to go for a run where I surprisingly was to relax and get my mind off of thinking how complicated this partial solitude was.

What really got complicated was the second day, due the fact that it was my day at home. No class, no work, a day where I’d usually just stay home catch up on the news and other media outlets. This made me realize that I have no idea how people lived without technology and being to easily look up what was going on in that exact moment of time, like we can do today. It kind of makes you appreciate what we have and appreciate those people who work hard to rely that message to the audience almost immediately.

One thing I’m really shocked about this experience that I really didn’t expect to do, is that I found better and positive activities to fill in my time where I’d be watching TV or on my phone. I was able to concentrate more on studying and doing my homework for the week within the 48 hours rather than sleeping and eating junk food. As anxious and “naked” as I felt without having social media and the news, I think it was a great assignment to open my eyes and the students eyes to what it feels like to not have that available to us anymore and how we are able to survive without having our phones glued to our hands.

NATALIE, YOU DIDN’T ANALYZE – YOU GAVE ME A DIARY ENTRY. WHERE ARE THE REFERENCES TO THE SOLITUDE ESDSAY AND OTHER READINGS?

Blackout Assignment

This blackout experience was nerve racking but fulfilling all at the same time. I have a morning routine where I check the weather and then move onto all the social media apps on my phone (Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, and Twitter.) I sent out a message to my friends and family informing them of my 48-hour disconnects and told them if they needed to get into contact with me to call my house phone. I started my blackout on Sunday, it was quiet difficult in the beginning because I found myself looking to check my phone out of habit. The curiosity of knowing what everyone’s “Sunday Funday” was like was slow irking me. Not being able to know what my peers where doing was giving me more anxiety than not knowing what was going on around me. As the day slowly came to an end I started to feel a sense of relief, since I wasn’t aware of what was going on around me. I wasn’t affected by anything that I would of potentially seen if I was connected to the world. Now Monday on the other hand, was a bit more challenging. I woke up and not being able to look at the weather delayed my getting ready process. I became easily frustrated because I wasn’t able to plan my outfit according to the weather forecast. I headed to work where my boss loves to engage in current events, our shift was a struggle because I told her that I was on a media news blackout. With every conversation we had, she couldn’t help but tie in a new media event. I started to get aggravated because I wasn’t able to contribute to the conversation. I am the type of person who enjoys adding my two-cent to any conversation. Through this exercise I was able to see how most people take the knowledge of our world for granted. We turn on the TV and have the ability to see what is transpiring in our world. This 48 hour cleanse taught me that knowledge is power and without it I wasn’t adding anything to society. NO ANALYSIS. YOU JUST GAVE ME A DIARY ENTRY.

YOU WROTE A 353-WORD PARAGRAPH. YOU NEED SHORTER PARAGRAPHS!