Secrecy

Nothing is as important as understanding the difference between ones private life and the public life. Everyone deserves a space in their lives; either socialites, public icons, celebrities or any other simple person like me. However, the presence of friends, stokers STALKERS and enemies in our midst more often make our secrets and private lives unsecure and no longer private. These are the circumstances that compels one to lie to keep their private live confidential. The friend I trusted most with my secrets taught me a lesson. It was embarrassing but I had to walk with the shame to fight it. I never knew that that night’s events would be in public domain one day. I trusted my friend, there was no thing that we could hide from each other. However, the day I let the cat out of the sac HAHA, my eyes were opened to the damages that can be caused by too much trust.

The first day my acquaintance come friend approached me for a pep-chat, I was quite skeptical to share my experience with night clubbing since it was prohibited in school and I never wanted anything that would victimize me. He requested for a night party but I brushed him off. I had to hide my love for night frenzies and merry-making. Acting too serious with education, I only accepted academic discussions.

My friend was unrelenting and kept making the request repeatedly whilst sharing how he loved partying although he had not found a company. Months of brushing away and acting night owl was slowly replaced with open story sharing and finally an arrangement to sneak into a nearby night club renowned for high college students’ attendance and drug lords. WOW I never wanted even my roommate to know where I was going. I had to make up a story that I had an extended group discussion with some of my course mates. The lie was as real as truth just to ensure my plans were well-sealed. I had never lied to this roommate but this time I had to; I could not afford to double risk.

We managed to sneak out and went to the party. From the entrance, I felt like the old me was back; I had not imaged of getting such an opportunity to enjoy what I had longed for. My friend too was full of life and enthusiasm; excitement that I had not seem him with before. I realized that actually we both missed such moments. Every context presents complementary enabling environment, the party was flooded with alcohol served at entrance and one was free to drink to their fullest. However, I tried to control my consumption since I never wanted to lose my head.

After hours of partying and drinking, what followed is a history; fight broke thus attracting police who came just in minutes. Everyone ran in different directions in confusion and need to save themselves from the long arms of law. Surprisingly, none was apprehended despite how drunk everyone was. My friend and I only met at the entrance of our apartment. We did not talk about the fracas but quietly walked into his room and slept. The following morning, we agreed that no one should know what happened. It was on weekend.

The following Monday, I was more than shocked to hear the story in everyone’s mouth. What happened to us became the story of the week but luckily enough, we were not summoned by disciplinary department. I counted myself lucky but regretted trusting my friend with my love for partying and going with him to the party after learning that he was the source of the story. I realized that a secret is only a secret when it remains between me and myself and resorted to sanitize lying for my future safety and confidentiality.

YOU ARE A GREAT STORYTELLER. I ENJOYED READING THIS AND YOUR REFLECTION ON HOW IT MADE YOU FEEL AND THE TRUST ISSUES WITH YOUR FRIEND. GREAT WORK.

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News Blackout

Going for a day without news, social media or accessing any information sources is not work in the park. Loneliness and boredom are the best words to explain the situation. As Deresiewicz argues, fear of being alone is real. My first experience in the blackout period was fear. I never knew what will happen in the next minute. I lost touch with the world, and my residence had shifted to a dark place where only spirits live. However, it was an opportunity to rediscover myself nourishes my soul and identifies the hidden capabilities in my life.

On the first day, it was like I have moved to a prison or taken in by some people and locked in. This cell hard no opening to let the right in or even a bulb. Darkness and fear filled my mind. I missed my daily movie series. I longed for motivational words from my favorite television journalist. And of course, a blackout from the social media memes created a virtual world of death experience in my life.

It was now a moment with my three self-components; me, myself and I.  A day without visibility felt like a minute in the world of death. I can confirm the Deresiewicz that one cannot stand still in due to boredom and loneliness. Cutting connection with the internet was like living in the evolution days talked of by Charles Darwin. It is a state of confusion, senselessness and hard to fathom.

However, continued experience in this situation gives you an opportunity to rediscover yourself. After the first 24hours, my situation took a turn. I stopped wondering what I am missing and started a journey to self-discovery. I started thinking of whom I am, what are my strengths and weakness as well as my capability.

Also, I focused on trying to understand the inner me. The fake I as defined by others started fading away. My inner voice started speaking to me. As Deresiewicz mentions on the power of solitude in making of prophets, philosophers, and poets, so it was in my twilight zone. I realized my potentials that I was not aware of before the experience.

Apart from this good experience, being in a news blackout was not an easy thing to thrive. For instance, I never knew how the weather would be for that day.  I was afraid a storm may catch me unaware or the day will be sweltering. As such, it was hard to decide what to wear. Also, without updates on what is happening on my way to classes was a great worry. I had no information on the traffic on the road, whether there will be a demonstration or even a terror attack has taken place on the route I use to access my school.

Hence, it was hard to make an essential decision in my day to day life without access to current news. In this regard, as Deresiewicz confirms, solitude in this era is dying slowly. Technological advancement and connectivity enhanced the socialness of humanity and changed self. Today visibility is the best definition of self. VERY GOOD ANALYSIS. GREAT WORK AND VERY WELL DONE.

News Blackout 5697934

Our digital information era has changed the way humans interact and behave. People want to be known by others, and people want to always be connected to one another. I feel guilty for doing the same thing. I have social media, where I post in hopes of getting a good amount of like. When my parents or friends are away I like the comfort of being able to call them on my phone as if they weren’t even gone. For the media blackout, I decided that it would be easier for me to succeed in blocking out the media by turning off my phone and leaving it home. I also made sure to do all my homework beforehand so I didn’t have to use my computer either, and I never watch TV in the first place so that was easy. WOW After doing so, not much felt different, I thought I could do pretty much everything I used to do. It wasn’t until I had to work on my car that I ran into some difficulties, I didn’t know if it was going to rain but the sky seemed clear so I proceeded to lift my car to change the oil. Twenty minutes later, it starts raining really hard and I was forced to go inside. I usually check for weather before I do any long projects. Later that day I was curious as to how the investigation with the Vegas shooting was going along, but to my dismay, I remembered that I was unable to check the news. That is truly when I started to sense myself disconnecting from the media world. I wasn’t anxious but a little annoyed. GOOD I began to analyze how I felt being cut out from the media and not once did I feel lonely, I believe the reason for is that for the majority of times I don’t pay much attention to what happens that I have no control over. Now that, I have no access to that information the narrative barely changed for me. I did analyze that for others this may not be the case.  Furthermore, I always have a little project to do, I chose to have something keep me busy at all times so I would not find boredom. For this reason, I’m always outside doing something with my car instead of watching tv and getting “boredom cultivated.” Again I see this contrast in other people that don’t do what I did. As soon as there is nothing to do, they feel the need to go to social media or news to get that need satisfied. But one struggle I did suffer was that when I needed to look up something for my projects, that information would essentially be news to me. So I was restrained there and felt a little cut off from my full potential had I known how to do something new. Overall I really enjoyed this little blackout, it helped me put into perspective how media and information play a large role in boredom and loneliness as well as resourcefulness. At least this blackout was planned, unlike the one I had for 5 days after Irma. SEPARATE PARAGRAPHS. Read more of this post

Ive got a secret assignment 5697934

Thesis

Secrets will almost always lead to lies and deceit, confidentiality will depend on the person of interest.

Secrets, confidentiality, and lies are often related to one another because each one serves the others. I usually try to not get myself involved with any secret keeping drama because I often feel like I could let a secret slip by accident, and I don’t like the liability and responsibility that comes with it. But of course, eventually, I would come get caught up in one. What made this so difficult was that it involved 2 of my best friends. Ever since freshman year of high school I met my best friend, he and I always had fun in class, and always did everything together. Two years later in our junior year, he was finally able to convince the girl he has liked since middle school to go out with him. And after a couple of months they were a solid couple. From the girl always hanging out with us, she eventually became my close friend as well. It was after graduation that I noticed that their relationship might go through some problems.

My best friend was going to the University of South Florida while she stayed down at South Florida to study at Nova Southeastern University. This was the first time they were both in a relationship and now both with also in a long-distance relationship for the first time as well. At first, I didn’t think much of it but after 6 months I visited my best friend up in Orlando by surprise, and that’s when I caught him sitting with another girl at a restaurant. I casually went up to him and just introduced myself and played it normal. After that day I had a lengthy conversation with him about what he was planning to do, either breaking it off with the new girl or breaking it off with the first one. He told me that he didn’t know what he wanted to do and to keep it a secret until he could figure it out. Him being my best friend of 5 years I agreed, since that moment a lot of weight came onto my shoulders. I was still friends with his girlfriend and would feel like a bad friend not to tell her but I would also be a bad friend if I could not keep the secret I agreed to with my best friend. Shortly after the girl texted me asking if I knew why my best friend was acting weird, I just told her he must be stressed from the classes or work. And after that was when I forced my friend to either tell the truth or I would. They ended up fixing their problems and getting closer together. And all that weight came off.

Since that experience, I learned how you must lie sometimes to keep a secret, and how secret often create some confidentiality that takes effort not to break. I feel like as soon as I found out about the secret I had the power to end a relationship, not that I would. Overall I really didn’t like the fact that I was caught in a secret and how it made me feel about the situation.  GOOD JOB AND WELL WRITTEN.

Secrecy

Logically, distinguishing right from wrong should be a simple task. The situation complicates when we adapt our own personal ethics to it, and suddenly the option you know is morally incorrect becomes the only choice you have.

Being that there’s only a two-year age difference between my younger brother and I, we grew up having an amazing brotherly-sister bond. During our high school years, we helped each other sneak out, skipped school, and even smoked some occasional weed every now and then. We are also complete opposites when it comes to education. I always prided myself in making the honor roll and taking as much AP and dual enrollment classes. On the other hand, my brother, was never great at school and lived by the saying “C’s get degrees.” We were different in that aspect, but he always tried his best to improve himself.

There was a period, in which he completely disassociated himself from the world. He wouldn’t eat or sleep and his grades went from bad to worst. He just didn’t care about anything at all. When I finally approached him with the concern, I came to find out that he was not only intaking different drugs, but also selling them. I was in so much disbelief and could not come to terms that my baby brother was on the wrong the path. As we continued to talk, he informed me that he was doing a lot better and that he would stop selling and consuming. He also made me promise to not mention it to our parents. I’ve kept so many other secrets for him yet somehow, I couldn’t adjust myself to this one. I still promised him, but it was mentally and emotionally draining being in that position.

I couldn’t bear seeing my brother in that situation, but I also couldn’t betray my word. For two months, I had to stay quiet about the issue and the feeling of guilt and helplessness was consuming me. He wasn’t like me, he wasn’t an honor roll student who liked to have a sporadic adventure he was just lost. Covering the truth also affected our relationship, my brother lived in constant fear that I would tell my parents and any trust that we had was gone. He would act suspicious and my parents eventually concluded that we were hiding something from them and we both caved.

I was put in a situation in which I had to lie “protect” my brother. A lie that for a moment messed with our relationship and put his life in danger. There really are no boundaries between lying and secrecy as they go hand in hand. In my situation the ethical thing would have been to speak to my parents and get him help immediately, but because I promised I would keep his secret the wrong choice became my only option and I had to live with the consequences. Lies and secrecy rely on personal views and what individual perceives as an ethical situation. WELL DONE.

Secrecy: Assignment 4

Thesis Statement: Secrets are a part of your privacy, keeping family secrets is the most intimate type of secrecy because of the bonds you all share. GOOD

“Family comes first”, is a quote that I live by. The inner works of how a family runs is critical, and must be done right in order to flourish from it. I come from a extremely close family, where we laugh together, cry together and keep each others secrets. A few years ago, my father had lost his job, that he had for 13 years, due to budget cuts. My dad is a workaholic, something that everyone in our family knows, so when he had lost his job we knew it was going to be hard on him. As my small family of four adjusted to the change, we were asked not to share this with out extended family. My parents did not want pity or money they just wanted things to get back to normal.

Along with keeping secrets comes lying. Lying to my family on why we could not go on family vacations with them, or lying about how our weeks were going. Just because it was a secret that mentally and physically brought us down, the secret did not empower me. Holding that secret ate me alive each and every night, wondering how we were going to make ends meet to keep our house. Being part of a such a close extended family, they knew we were acting strange. They were trying to figure out the true reason on what what going on behind closed doors in our household. As they were growing more curious, we all became more anxious and uncomfortable talking about certain topics such as the future or our careers. My dad had been working tirelessly, interview after interview, and you could just tell the toll it took on him. You could see it in his tired eyes that he was shameful for loosing his job, which was so hard to see in him knowing that he could not have prevented it.

Once you get older, you start realizing how important secrets actually are. In Middle School, they were a form of gossiping or revealing your crush. Once you come into the real world, you see what type of impact secrecy has. We had kept that secret to protect our family name and control our reputation of a hard-working “American Dream” family. We were using lies to guard our secrets and trying to justify them by saying that we had been protecting our family.

As time goes on and secrets come and go, the secret may have gone but the intimacy and loyalty between a person and whom they may have shared a secret with stays. The bonds me and my family have today is because of the true faithfulness we have within each other. Keeping family secrets may be the hardest ones to keep, but what they leave is something so much better. A small family of 4 was able to make it through 2 tough years of unemployment, through the intimacy and trust they had with one another. VERY WELL WRITTEN AND ANALYZED WELL

Individual Assignment 4: I’ve got a secret

Thesis: Lying is a societal bad trait.

The readings and presentations demonstrated how secrecy, confidentiality and lying are all interrelated and yet how sometimes we have the need to fall under the lying pattern. Secrecy is believed to be synonym of power, a meaning for human autonomy. Is the human being truly prepared for this kind of power? Along with secrecy comes the control of the information flow which it is believed to be extremely dangerous. For example, it can hurt our judgement and based on this hurt people, intended or not. Making it a treat.

Based on this I remember once covering for my little brother. He had gotten bad grades at school and decided to tell me about it. I still remember his last words that day: “don’t tell mom and dad.” Basically, my duty was to keep this secret for my brother and lie to my mother and my father so they wouldn’t get mad about it. This was a really uncomfortable situation because I wanted my brother to trust me but my parents also trusted me. I was standing right in the middle of the problem.

This situation made me feel somehow empowered. It was a huge deal to my brother and by having this information I had the power to make him be nice to me. Not a good thing to do, but the entire secrecy thing made me feel that way, while he was vulnerable. GOOD ANALYSIS Yet with some days passing I realized that my brother got bad grades because he was always playing video games instead of studying.  He had to face his responsibilities and I had to be loyal to my parents (the ultimate power at home) I decided to break the deal and tell them. I broke the confidentiality agreement I had with my brother and told my parents. They didn’t react as bad as he though. But they taught my brother that in order to get good grades he had to pay more attention to school projects.

As the presentation showed and based on my anecdote we can see how secrecy protects lies, how lies protect secrecy and secrecy somehow protects confidentiality agreements. In order to protect my brother’s secret, I had to omit some details which in the long run turned into a lie. Lying in the other hand protected the secret making sure there was no “finding out”. Then secret also protected the confidentiality I had to maintain and didn’t. Because if I was not able to reveal the secret I couldn’t be able to reveal the person’s identity either.

Secrecy is a feared trait in society. Yet somehow, we encounter circumstances where we are tested. Sometimes we do have the need to lie. It is in us to manage if it is worthy or not. Lies in the other hand not always protect secrets. How do we know when a lie is not a secrecy scheme?  Analyzing behavior can determine that lying can be dangerous. That’s why it can directly and promotionally affect our loyalty while dealing with other people.

Amanda Cil

Id:6097455