Thesis Draft 2 – Marielle Cohen

Marielle –

Focusing on the report is fine. However, your thesis needs to be about how we know about the report. What rhetoric is used, how is the report disseminated, perhaps who supports or rejects the report and what rhetoric do they use? Is secrecy involved in any way?


You are on the right track. Just revise the thesis and check back with me.


Between December 2nd and 15th, the United Nations Climate Change Conference was held in Katowice. Concerns were raised on the need to speed up the control of the escalating global warming; these events have been influenced by scientific report which states that the past five years have been the hottest period in history, therefore, there is an urgent need for the world to embrace ways to reduce the impact of global warming by 2030.


Thesis Draft – Marielle Cohen



The topic is interesting, but a bit broad and is more a statement of fact than something disputable. You might try to focus on a congressperson, or group of them, and perhaps their use of social media. For example, some articles have looked at the media usage of Ocasio-Cortez.

There are claims that the new US congress is the most divisive in the history of United States and it not clear how the politics of the superpower will affect the rest of the world amid the political strife in the country since news outlets have varying opinions.

Assignment 3 Marielle Cohen


Very insightful analysis of your experience. Good job making connections to Deresiewicz. Overall, writing is good, but could be improved with tighter editing. 


Two days without a phone and access to news seemed like an eternity. I could not believe how much I was addicted to social life until the blackout. The fear of missing out the news was continually running through my mind. I could not think that there was such a time when people used to live without relying on technology. I also learned that I was not patient because I could not wait for the 48 hours to be over so that I can return to normal life where I had access to my phone and news. Using “I” in this assignment is OK, but 5 in one sentence is probably too many. A possible revision:

Unable to wait 48 hours and return to a normal life with phone and news, I learned that I lacked patience.

I was sure that I was missing something important in my life.

Waking up without having to check on notifications and listen to the new is the worst kind of solitude I can imagine. The day was much longer, and I could not believe how much time I could have if there were no internet or the news. Interesting. In the first day, I was not sure which activities would make me busy except cooking (favorite hobby) and eating because of the anxiety I had. It was the most boring time of my life. However, on the positive side, it was a real eye-opener of to how much time I waste looking at my phone which is insane.

During the news blackout, I could not help but think how much I fit in the description of Deresiewicz about celebrities. I was confident that my absence from social media would raise a lot of questions since people are used to my numerous photos and posts. It was a eureka effect to find out that I am also a celebrity in a way because I maintain an active social media presence (Deresiewicz, 2009). Missing out on social media plus no news for 48 hours made me uncomfortable because I felt as though an essential part of my life was missing.

It is also exciting to fond find? that I could survive for 48 hours without access to news and the internet. Retrospectively, I was anxious about the idea of not using my phone for a whole day. It seemed like an eternity because the world was going on without me. Now, I know that staying without a phone and no access to news is the worst kind of solitude.

Having a lot of time to spend on other things away from the news and the internet is not as interesting as I had imagined. Since I had become accustomed to regularly checking on the internet for social life and news, living without such privileges induced more solitude, engaging in activities such as reading a book and drawing may seem like fun activities but living in a world that depends on the internet and news can be distracting. Now, I am certain, that everyone is used to listening to the news and using the internet it is almost impossible to socialize with other people when one does not know how the world works. Good insight. Going off the information grid does make it harder to connect with others.

Assignment 2 Marielle Cohen Team 1

Marielle –

An interesting examination of McLuhan’s idea of the medium is the message. You did a fine job making the connection to critical perspective. Overall, your writing is good, but sometimes suffers from a lack of clarity. A few sentences left me puzzled. For example, when you write:

“He further identifies the different forms of media and describing how they are an explanation of one another…”

Are you referring to his argument that the content of new forms of media are old forms? If so, that is an excellent observation often missed. But your wording made it difficult to know what you were getting at.

Make sure to spend sufficient time editing. Watch for plural/singular, possessives, and other grammatical niggles. Consider reading aloud, or to a friend or teammate. The ear is a good judge.


McLuhan notes that there are different assumptions typically held of various media forms. One such assumption is that the content of media or message affects the society more than the means of media used in conveying the message. Such assumptions according to McLuhan ignores ignore the fact that every form of media is an explanation of another media form in content. Not sure what you mean here. Thus, he provides an attempt at explaining what is wrong with the assumptions held against about media. He further identifies the different forms of media and describing describes how they are an explanation (?) of one another and ultimately highlights the various forms of criticism against the same media means. The multiple media forms analyzed by McLuhan comprise; comprise the written and spoken word, weapons, games, and even television.

Every one of these forms of media according to McLuhan is an expression of their inherent meaning. Such expression of meaning is through the form. This aspect entails the analysis of what is wrong with the social assumption held against media. The expressed inherent meaning of media is through the form. For example, one media type is a film. The purpose of the film is entrenched in its ability to express human life in its dynamic state. The print media, on the other hand, conveys political authority despite the many assumptions held regarding its primary roles.

McLuhan uses critical theory effectively in deconstructing the notion that people emphasize the content of the message offered by the different different what?. Instead, the society should collectively emphasize the means used to deliver the message to determine the inherent meaning and expression of the media. Thus, McLuhan expands the debate on the role role of what? and media interpretation with an attempt to change the societal perception of that which is essential between the media form or the content being delivered. The society believes that the inherent meaning in media is the message which is more important than the media used to deliver. Besides highlighting what is wrong with the assumptions about the media and its message, he offers an alternative explanation to what is pragmatic and vital to the society. In McLuhan’s contention, the medium of the message is the primary means of effecting the change in media and not the fundamental importance of the content.

Therefore, McLuhan main objective is to identify the limiting aspect of media as an essential aspect of human life. Furthermore, he equally provides means of overcoming the assumptions by shifting the thinking system of the society and placing emphasis on what is essential. The overall result is the betterment of society. If the society needs to move into the future progressively, McLuhan advises embracing a on the embracement of the new thought system. As such, he uses critical perspectives and admonishes the society. The society according to McLuhan is influenced by the media form. Society is most influenced by the form of media. However, the content being conveyed by the media has a minimal substantive effect on the people. The identification of a societal problem, using a different approach to debunk the same problem and then identifying alternatives to overcome the problem denotes how McLuhan effectively uses critical perspective.

Assignment 1 Marielle Cohen Team 1

Overall, quite good. You get right to the analysis and make strong, cogent arguments. Your writing is good. Watch your plurals (corrections in bold) and consider shorter sentences for greater impact.

In their article, Chabris and Simons appeal to their audience by first providing examples of cases where relying on one’s memory appeared erroneous. The case of Dr. Tyson, former President George Bush, and former First Lady Hillary Clinton are the primary examples. The logical appeal in these cases highlights the practical scenarios which try to convince the reader that the question about memory being erroneous to portend some truth. (The real-life cases provide a logical appeal to convince the reader) For instance, in Dr. Tyson’s case, whatever he heard President Bush note about religious bigotry was part of another speech delivered by the former president. Thus, in their article, “Why Our Memory Fails Us” Chabris and Simmons convince the audience that reliance on memory can result in incorrect outcomes. The authors attain this objective by employing a didactic tone, logical evidence, and common ground to make the reader part of the issue. Excellent.

Chabris and Simons note that the problem with relying on one’s memory is because the element of overconfidence in the same memories creates lack of accuracy in recalling what happened. Although the authors rely on much evidence and facts like the problem of erroneous witness recollection, they equally appeal to the readers’ pity. For instance, Dr. Tyson’s apology and the mere fact that in all cases where there is the memory, the fault isn’t based on the individual lying motivates the readers to believe that the issue under investigation is accurate. Very good.

The authors also employ a didactic tone which makes their appeal to the readers more realistic owing to the academic diction employed through the work. Chabris and Simons use the academic diction to separate the topic in question, the evidence tabled and the reader which effectively makes the work more academic and non-personal. Thus, the same appeal emanates from their professional knowledge and experience. (Need to identify ethos as the mode here)

(Need a new paragraph here) In the top readers’ comments, Keith Dow input on 2nd December 2014 (don’t need the dates here) also entails different appeals. Specifically, Keith argues that contention by Chabris and Simons that Bush was an intelligent person is faulty. Dow employed logic through evidence of various occasions when Bush uttered different words which seem unintelligent. Beyond that she (I believe Keith is a he) doesn’t provide any appeal towards her arguments, as it lacks any ethical connotation and doesn’t evoke emotions of pity or even sadness.

The second reader comment is from Jacob Sommer made on 2nd December 2014. Jacob Sommer reinforces his statement by logical facts, like for instance, such as the times he’s seen people make honest memory mistakes. Sommer’s contention that people who suffer from the problem highlighted by Chabris and Simons usually attribute the same question to malice isn’t supported by tangible evidence but simple logic. Additionally, there is no appeal to ethos and pathos within the same argument. The last reader comment is that of Prometheus. Prometheus notes that the authors should not have used former President Bush as an example to reinforce their point. Instead, they needed to have taken another person. Such sentiments are only stated with logical connotation and lack appeal to ethical and pathos orientation of the audience.