I’ve got a secret

[Organize your ideas into paragraphs. No one wants to read a 500-word block of words.] [Introduction  not needed. Apply points made here to the events.] Everyone lives everyday [two words] as normal as they know. We can spend every minute with someone [comma] but that person will not know everything about that person. [How do these points relate to each other?] Secrets are information that one person may have and will not want any other person to know. There are times that the secret is just being help till the correct time [missing or wrong words]. [Organize your writing: new idea, new paragraph.] The story takes place at work with a coworker that we became friends [ungrammatical] out side [one word] of work. My coworker and I created a bond out side of work and became really good friend [already stated in the previous sentence and repetitive within this sentence. Edit your work.] where we would tell each other a lot of things that would happen. [Organize your writing: new idea, new paragraph.] There was a Monday that she came to me and said, “There is something that I have to tell you.” I thought to my self [one word] that it was something that happened over the weekend but I was wrong. [Organize your writing: new idea, new paragraph.] My coworker and I walked into the lunchroom to talk but there were a couple of other coworkers in the lunchroom [comma] so we had to talk very low so no one can hear us. What my coworker was going to said [She was going to say it, but didn’t? Be clear.] to me was that she found out that she was pregnant. When she sold [SP] me [comma] I was so excited about the news, I did not contain my excitement. I had to quickly contain my excitement in the lunchroom so that know what else asked why I was so excited [missing words and ungrammatical]. [Organize your writing: new idea, new paragraph.] The first thing she told me after I contained my excitement was that know [SP: no] one knew but her parents and sister. My coworker didn’t want any one [one word] to know at work to know she was pregnant till she was at least she reached to her second trimester. [Organize your writing: new idea, new paragraph.] As the days went by [comma] we would talk about how to start decorating the nursery. For example, by this time my coworker already knew that she was having a little girl, so we started picking out colors to paint the walls of the nursery, what exactly she was going to use in the room. [Organize your writing: new idea, new paragraph.] A couple of weeks went by and another coworker announced that she was pregnant and was expecting a little boy. Everyone was excited for her and stated congratulating her on becoming a mom. [Organize your writing: new idea, new paragraph.] As we all talked about how exciting it is to be expecting a baby, someone said that there was another person that was also expecting. My friend turned, looked at me and whispered to me [comma] “I hope you didn’t say anything.” I had no [SP: not] said anything to any one [comma] so we just looked as confused as everyone else. Since people were trying to find out who the other person that was pregnant was, they were all asking everyone if they [agreement: “everyone” is a singular noun.] know who that other person was. I felt special knowing that I was the only one at work to know that my coworker was one of women [missing word] that were pregnant. Some weeks went by [comma] and when my coworker told everyone at work about her expecting a baby girl,we actually found out that there was three people that were expecting.

[Relate your feelings and insights to the readings. Did people make appeals based on ethos (your sense of honor, loyalty or justice) or pathos (feelings)? Did you carry a burden the way that Edward Snowden said he did?]

[Relate to class: You kept a confidentiality out of a prima facie duty and to show loyalty to a peer.]

[How did the experience empower you, the other person, or both of you?]


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