What Secret?

I have the predisposition to be truthful as much as I possibly can, so the idea of lying is not something that comes easy to me. During my sophomore year in high school, I was placed in a tough situation in whether or not to keep a secret for my closest friend; she was pregnant. The idea itself made me uncomfortable. I was one of her closest friends, so she decided to confide in me because she knew I was not the judgmental type. I felt good knowing that she trusted me that much, but I was the only person who knew and I felt as if I had weights on my shoulder.

It was tough having to keep news like this all to myself, it didn’t feel right knowing what I knew and with news like that, she needed to talk to someone other than me. I insisted that she should go to local clinics but she refused, I even tried to get her to talk to her parents but she insisted they would basically disown her, and news like that would bring on embarrassment to her and her family. Keeping this secret put me in a strange position, it felt like I was doing both a good and bad deed.  Letting out her secret could have been detrimental to our friendship, and I couldn’t accept the idea of betraying her trust in me, so keeping her secret confidential became my crucial goal. I had to come up with different stories every time she wasn’t in school and it was tough coming up with different alibis. When someone would stop me and ask about her a different lie came out of my mouth. I started to feel the pressure of trying to keep her secret, teachers were hammering me to know why she wasn’t in school and it almost tore me apart. It was bad enough that she was ashamed of herself, I didn’t want others to make her feel worst when they saw her, thus I told many that she had to deal with a family matters and she will be back soon.

As mentioned in our video lecture The Balance of Concealment and Revelation, protecting her secret protected her from mockery and ridicule. what are others going to think of a 16-year-old pregnant girl? Will her parents even treat her the same upon finding out? Our previous assignment was on solidarity and that’s what I believe she needed at that moment. When dealing with something private, sometimes you just need to get away from everything and everyone. The idea of solidarity helps you get out of your own head and be in a place where you feel as if you cannot be judged.  Another notion from our online lecture was the fact that she may be put under a false light. She was a straight A student who made honor roll every semester, she never missed class, and a student who everyone would ask for help, but because of a careless mistake people would have undermined her character. GOOD.

Lies are necessary at time when wanting to reach a positive outcome. During the course of her finally having the guts to tell her parents and teachers, our friendship became stronger. To trust me with such a secret made me realize that lying for the right reasons is not bad. If I was put into this situation again, I would lie again just like I had did previously. When you have someone you love confining confiding in you and almost no one else, sometimes you need to lie in order to ensure things stay like that.

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