Secrecy and Lies

Secrecy, lying, and confidentiality are used from the most ordinary and mundane of people to the highest government officials. While the potency of the three may change, their dynamic does not. For example, a friend of mine, Tracy, and her boyfriend, Kevin, had been together for almost three years. I had known Tracy for most of my life, but had a falling out with her which led to us no longer communicating. My other friend, Ingrid, had begun communicating with Kevin recently. They would text each other all the time.

Tracy and Kevin were having problems, but they were still together. While I didn’t agree with Ingrid talking to Kevin while he was in a relationship, I didn’t say anything. I hoped the conversations between Kevin and Ingrid were innocent and left it at that. [Organize your writing: new idea, new paragraph.] However, after years of not speaking to Tracy, she messaged me. She informed me that Kevin and her [case: she] had broken up. She asked me if I knew anything about it, and I lied. I had an idea that Ingrid could be behind the demise of their relationship, but I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt.

Not long after I’ve [tense: I had] spoken to Tracy, Ingrid calls [called] me. She confides in me, and tells me that Kevin left Tracy to try things out with her. She told me that Kevin had feelings for her in high school before he was in a relationship with Tracy, [no comma] but did not pursue anything with her because he thought she would not reciprocate. She then asked me to keep all of what she had told me a secret.

Tracy continued to message me in the following week. She thought Kevin might have left her for someone else and asks me continuously if I had any information. [Do you think the person trying to penetrate the secret had a desire to know, gain control, feel superior, or be intimate?] I lie [tense agreement] again. I reassure her that if I know anything I’ll let her know… but I don’t. [Did you feel a sense of loyalty, guilt or anxiety? Were you angry at having to lie or otherwise act contrary to your morals to protect the secret?] [Organize your writing: new idea, new paragraph.] I knew that Kevin and Ingrid had gone on their first date not long after the break up. Ingrid didn’t feel anything romantic toward Kevin and decides [tense agreement] to move on. Kevin realizes he’s made a mistake breaking up with Tracy, but it was now too late.

I disagreed with Ingrid contacting Kevin while he was in a relationship, leading him to believe she had feelings for him, and going on a date with him so soon after he had broken up with Tracy. So [comma] why did I lie? I lied because I promised to keep a secret . I lied to protect Ingrid because she was my friend[Relate to class: You kept a confidentiality out of a prima facie duty and to show loyalty to a peer.]. I did not feel empowered by withholding this information from Tracy, I felt ashamed. Every time Tracy attempted to pry into my knowledge, I would put myself in her shoes and I felt badly. [good insight] [Were you angry at having to lie or otherwise act contrary to your morals to protect the secret?] 

I am told to keep a secret. I lie to protect that secret. I lie and keep that secret to protect the confidentiality between Ingrid and me. That is the dynamic of the three. They all work together constantly and simultaneously, even in this situation. [good insight] 


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