I’ve Got A Secret

When my best friend—Michael— [no dashes] introduced me to his new girlfriend, Katie, her [case: she] and I befriended each other immediately and built an unbreakable bond over the course of their relationship. So it was to my surprise, however, fast forwarding four years later after swearing me to secrecy, that Katie chose to disclose to me that she had been unfaithful to my best friend for the last eight months and was now realizing she was in love with the other guy [run-on sentence at this point]; [comma, not semicolon, extending the sentence] therefore, [no comma] going to end her and Michael’s relationship in order to be with him—strongly emphasizing that in order to end things on good terms with Michael and maintaining her reputation unscathed, no one could never find out there had been someone else in the picture .  As explained by Professor Blevens in the “I’ve Got A Secret” lecture, privacy is important—amongst other reasons— [commas, not dashes] on account of its role in promotion of one’s autonomy and protection against scorn; hence, where Katie’s need for vowed secrecy comes into play [sentence fragment].

Despite the friendship we had developed, she knew it was no comparison to me and Michael’s [agreement] friendship of 14 years [comma] and he would always take precedence over her. So I was perplexed with her telling me this as means to establish a bond, since I was now put in a lose/lose situation. [Organize your writing: new idea, new paragraph.] All I kept thinking about was how I would not be able to live with myself in keeping this from him and despite going against my own morals and values [Relate your feelings and insights to the readings. Did she make appeals based on ethos (your sense of honor, loyalty or justice) or pathos (feelings)? Did you carry a burden the way that Edward Snowden said he did?] I decided to stick to my word and immediately felt enslaved by this secret I had to keep [run-on sentence]. All I could ponder on was how Michael was so clueless to the situation, all the while, Katie achieved empowerment by having complete control over how to manipulate the situation to go according to her own [SP: their] specifications—no one doubting her or questioning her on her motives since—to everyone else’s knowledge—there was nothing to hide [run-on sentence]. Her and Michael were together and happy and that’s all everyone needed to know.

The fact this secret was a secret within itself unsettled me. If perhaps Michael started feeling things were off and asked for my input, that could’ve granted me a little leeway in hinting at certain things without completely betraying my promise to Katie, but this wasn’t the case. Our friends and acquaintances didn’t have any suspicions either, [period mark] Katie played her role well, so no one questioned her credibility—not to her and especially not to me.

When the truth came out and I confessed my prior knowledge of the situation to Michael, I could barely justify it to him due to that fact I never actually lied, [period mark] I simply did not disclose information. As much as I tried to take a rational approach in it all, Michael struck me with his use of pathos—expressing anguish caused by his best friend “not having his back.[an appeal to ethos] His approach made me feel that much more sympathetic and, if ever in a similar situation again, I would know that keeping a secret like that only lowers my resistance and, above all, hurts people. Safe to say I would do things differently if the opportunity presented itself. [Relate the insights to the readings and lectures.]



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