I’ve got a Secret

Not again… I am sitting on the couch and OF COURSE she would invite him over. “He was just in the neighborhood” … yeah, right. What lie am I going to have to come up with now? What if her boyfriend gets off work early? Why am I stuck in the middle? What am I going to get out of this, besides another headache. They are both my friends and now I’m stuck in this situation. My best friend was cheating on her boyfriend with her ex-boyfriend, Jonathan. This wasn’t the first time it happened. She had no explanation for her actions. I had no word of advice to tell her, anything I could tell her wouldn’t matter. My opinions would have been useful but her actions took over her better judgment. The adrenaline rush she had every time he would text her and entertained her is what kept her living this lie. I lied to her boyfriend on several occasions when he asked, “What did you guys do today? “Is Nat  okay because she really hasn’t been herself lately”. Forcing me to have to act like everything was perfectly fine and nothing out of the ordinary would happen that night.

This experience did not empower me, at all. GOOD — CITE THE LECTURE. I had kept this lie for many years where the truth didn’t even matter anymore. However, it empowered my best friend who had her cake and ate it too. Even though, throughout that period of time, I did lie to her boyfriend to not make him think otherwise and ultimately hurt him. Our other best friend was also involved in this lie as well. This made me feel terrible about myself and about the situation we were all in. Sometimes, I felt like telling the truth to him; I felt guilty having to keep this secret. However, my loyalty is to my best friend although he was also my friend. It was up to her to tell him the truth and choose to end her infidelity.

In situations like this I rather not be informed about the situation, keeping secrets and having to lie so much in order to have the secret kept is too messy. Even though I had a choice of stepping out of the situation, involuntary, I was involved keeping this secret for my best friend. I was ultimately stuck between a rock and a hard place. I had to choose between being a good friend by staying silent about the mess that was happening right before my eyes or walking away from her and having her feel like I was betraying her trust. Everyone has dealt with situations wherein they had to keep a secret from someone and had to lie in order to maintain the secret, a secret.



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