Secrecy Blog

Lying has always been something that has given me anxiety and stress. Because of that, I’ve always tried to be as honest of a person as possible. As a child, however, I was put in a situation in which my honesty was tried and I had to pick between candor and friendship [Relate to class: Keeping a confidentiality puts tremendous burden on the agent.] . [Organize your writing: new idea, new paragraph.] My sister and I experienced a childhood in which we spent almost every moment together. I remember one day about 15 years ago we were playing baseball outside and I was repeatedly telling my sister to be careful when hitting the ball because it could hit a window and shatter it. [Organize your writing: new idea, new paragraph.] That was exactly what happened. With a forceful swing, my sister sent a baseball flying across the yard, over the fence, and straight into the living room of our neighbor’s house. Shocked, we ran inside our house and pretended to play in our rooms. Meanwhile the security alarm of our neighbor’s house was blasting and I was panicking. [Organize your writing: new idea, new paragraph.] My sister turned to me and told me to not say a word to anyone about what happened or else I would regret it because she would no longer be my friend. As an adult, losing a friend is sometimes something we want, but as a child this was the end of the world to me. [How did the experience empower you, the other person, or both of you?] 

So there I was, six years old and holding in a secret I didn’t want to have. My parents eventually questioned my sister and I on the situation, asking if we had seen anything that day or heard something. My sister with much ease responded no. [Organize your writing: new idea, new paragraph.] They then turned to me and I had to choose in that moment if I was going to lie to my parents or betray my sister and face whatever consequences she had planned. Rattled, I chose to be on my sister’s side and agreed that I too had heard nothing or seen anything. I instantly felt terrible and regretted my decision, but my sister turned to me and gave me a high five. I felt a little better then and in a sense closer to her. [Relate to class: You kept a confidentiality out of a prima facie duty and to show loyalty to a peer.] 

The situation and the experience of it in all strengthened the relationship I have with my sister. Although I felt terrible for lying to my parents and even worse for my neighbor who had to repair her window, at the end of the day I seemed to care more about the relationship with my sister and whether she was my friend or not. [Organize your writing: new idea, new paragraph.] This just confirms how lies and secrets are related and intertwined with one another as discussed in class lectures. At the end of the day if you have a secret and you want to keep it a secret, you will end up telling a lie. This is true as I ended up lying to keep my sister’s accident a secret. Lies are what guard our secrets and ironically secrets guard our lies. It is an interesting concept and although it is dangerous because of what it can lead to (hurting others, bad judgment, etc.) we constantly find ourselves caught in lies and secrets, as they go hand in hand. [good insight] 

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