48-hour news blackout

Celebrity and connectivity, as Deresiewiz puts it, are both forms of being seen and recognized by others. Noting that this result is essential to our validation and sense of self. I do agree with Deresiewiz’s observation in this case as I have come to a similar conclusion in the past—most of today’s society place a higher value on others’ opinions of them over the ones they have on themselves. Every status, picture, tweet, blog etc. posted is carefully planned and executed to receive a certain type of attention. [good insight]

This thought caused me to start reflecting on the patterns during moments where I am actively using technology versus when I’m not—noting the differences reagarding [SP: regarding] each case—which helped me see the grey areas I didn’t know it existed prior to this assignment. I discovered that each time I unintentionally disconnected from the world was always due to a feeling of commitment to and from myself. Feeling like I owed nothing to anyone but myself. [Organize your writing: new idea, new paragraph] Meanwhile, after analyzing the patterns accompanied by times of increased use of technology , whether it be looking into people’s lives on FaceBook or reading the latest on governmental affairs via CNN, I came to the realization that those moments were always preceded by confusion and dissatisfaction with certain situations going on during those times; concluding that the fixation on constant absorption of information was just a mere attempt to distract myself through repressing the feelings accompanying my own personal circumstances [Semicolon creates a sentence fragment.]. [Good insights. How do they relate to the points that Deresiewicz raises in his essay?] 

As someone who finds discomfort in the unknown, disconnecting from current news was no easy feat at first, [period mark or semicolon] however, the process I’ve experienced through my solitude, with its ability to give me space to reflect and sort through anything bringing me discomfort, made me feel on-edge at first due to recent erratic events—constantly finding my finger hovering over my iPhone’s news, Twitter and Facebook apps wondering if there was something I should know about or be concerned about—however, this soon came to an end the moment I realized how unproductive thinking about the far-fetched possibilites [SP: possibilities] I came up with was. [The entire paragraph is one run-on sentence. Write short.]

Upon this realization, I decided to take what remained of my 48 hours of solitude and do the things I did before technology consumed me and my fellow millenials [SP: millennials]; [no semicolon, no punctuation at all] such as reading a good book, watching classic movies starring Audrey Hepburn [comma] and so on. Nice idea, but it didn’t exactly go that way.

Within 20 minutes of engaging myself in a new activity or task, I found myself zoned out along with the occasional pang of anxiety. Irrationally feeling as if I were left in the dark, however, those feelings quickly took a turn once my inner dialogue shifted from scripted—what I thought I should be doing or saying to myself—to one that was honest. If I felt a certain way [comma] I pondered the idea of it for a while, accepted it and moved on. Doing this rather than burying the thought/s to the back of my head, made me feel calm coming to terms with what was going on inside of me. That’s when I realized that the only people who can’t be depednent [SP: dependent] solely on their company & their company alone tend to be people who are avoidant and don’t like to come to terms with certain aspects of their lives and would prefer to live a lie of deceit [run-on sentence]. [How do these insights relate to the points that Deresiewicz raises in his essay?] 

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